Feeling Better and Shifting Focus

Today I’m 13 weeks and 5 days pregnant. This year has certainly been crazy, but being pregnant is one of the wonderful things that has happened this year.

Just before I got pregnant I was very into (obsessed with) body image issues, feminism, and the Health At Every Size movement. It’s not that I’m not into that anymore, I still want to do my part to convey the messages that I think are impotant, like helping others become media literate so they’re aware of the garbage and lies constantly being lobbed at them, but I feel my focus has shifted. I’m going to be a mom. Health is still incredibly important to me, but I am focusing on emotional, spiritual, and creative health right now. My creative urges have grown along with my baby, and my desire to make things, to work with my hands, and to someday work in a creative field or have my own creative business, is blossoming.

I’ve tried to meditate regularly in the past, especially at the beginning of this year. My illness knocked me off track, but I’m ready to start again. I’m going back to the methods that I learned from Martha Beck and her book Finding Your Way In The Wild New World. See the video below to hear Martha talk about the Four Technologies of Magic.

I have a tendency to get really, really excited about things and do a bunch of prep work and then never follow through. In order to prevent that from happening this time, though, I’m doing a few things:

  • Pretty elaborate spreadsheet outlining the steps I need to take and when I need to take them by (this will be updated and added to as I go, of course)
  • Taking things slow. Sure, I already changed the url of this blog, but I’m trying to set up this shift as a long-term one, not something I expect to have in place in a month or two
  • Not doing anything drastic – similar to above, but I mean with regard to my current job, etc. I’m doing the slow and steady thing. I’m keeping my job, finishing my Master’s, and trying to live in the moment instead of looking forward to the next thing (I totally wrote that last line to remind myself to do it, not because it’s actually happening!)
  • Going back to those meditation/Martha Beck roots I mentioned above — I believe in magic, I believe in Martha’s message and methods, and this time I’m following through
  • Reminding myself I CAN DO THIS

I also have to admit this is only day two of this journey. I mean, really my journey started nearly 34 years ago when I was born, but for this chapter, the journey just started two days ago. I intend to be steadfast. Hold me to it. Because:

I Long To Be Free


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